I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just had sex on a roof
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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