She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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