So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
