I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
