Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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