Dude my mom stole all your condoms
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
