do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
