Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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