I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
