Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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