I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize