I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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