i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
