apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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