Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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