he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
