I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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