Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
