So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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