WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
