we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize