Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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