I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
