She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Semen is not good for contacts.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
