Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
