i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
