Blood and glitter go together right?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
