So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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