My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
