This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
PANTIES FOUND
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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