I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
