Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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