It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
