i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
