Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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