If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
