I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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