Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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