btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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