You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
