i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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