Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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