i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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