fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
