Just mADE A PArabola og urine
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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