I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
