If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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