Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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