Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize