I could make wine with my vomit
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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