I'm jealous of your bromance
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
