I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize