My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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