I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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