Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
