Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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