So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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