YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
