the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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