Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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