It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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