Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
