Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
