I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
