Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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